Inkpotamus

A poem about...

William the Conqueror
It's 1066 and the Battle of Hastings, who will win: EdCon, Harry G, Harry H or BillCon?

BillCon

Long before democracy, Parliament or liberty
Shakespeare’s plays or cups of tea, England was a prize for me
Before they’d heard of Beatles’ hits or Nelson’s Royal Navy ships
Or even tasted Fish ‘n’ Chips, England made me lick my lips

Then as now, it is a fact, the English have what others lack
A propensity to pay their tax, they are such law-abiding chaps
Yes, England’s farm economy in legal self-sufficiency
It was the very model of medieval tax efficiency

I’m William the Conqueror; I sit above the peasantry, landowners and nobility
In every shire and territory, I squeeze and tax quite easily
The English taxman he can look in every far-flung field and nook
In each peasant farm and I undertook to record it in my Domesday Book

I came here with my Norman horde of knights and lords from near-abroad
I’ve conquered England shore to shore, and now I want my just reward
I’ve fought and crushed, pursued, replaced and nearly always overawed
I am the very model of the ruthless feudal overlord