Inkpotamus

I’m Nostradamus,
I’m the cat’s pyjamas,
At foretelling things I really am the best,
(I’m the tiger’s vest!)

I’ll have you know,
Five hundred years ago,
I wrote down a thousand verses of prediction,
(A great work of fiction!)

The future’s ours to see,
In events set down by me,
Which I’ve precisely and remarkably forecast,
(Once events have passed!)

At predictive expertise,
I’m clearly the bee’s knees,
There’s no event my verses cannot fit,
(If you change the words a bit!)

I’m Nostradamus,
Topmost of clairvoyant top bananas,
My name’s on every dismal doomsayer’s scrawl,
(Most of which I didn’t write at all!)

If you find it hard to wrench,
From my medieval French,
The message that you really want to cut,
Just make it up!